不久前，微博话题“被姓毁掉的名字”上了热搜。“子腾”“初墨”这样的名字，配上“杜”和“熊”这样的姓氏，画风就变了。
网友们甚至创造了“……多么好听的名字，可惜姓……”这样的句式，随便代入下面的哪一组姓名都有原地裂开的效果。
这么看来，取名字的父母们还得非常小心自家小孩的名字会不会跟滑稽的词语谐音。
拥有这些名字的小孩成长起来自然也不容易。
在许多文化里，姓+名，亦或是名+姓都是标配。滑稽的效果通常藏在姓名的犄角旮旯里。
英国有些不寻常的姓氏。Great British Mag 列举了下面这些：You are not going to meet many people with the surname "Go-to-bed". The first recorded person to have this surname was John Gotobed of Cambridge in 1269.
你应该不会见到很多有“苟德柏”这个姓氏的人。历史上记录的第一个叫这个姓氏的人是1269年剑桥地区的约翰·苟德柏。
Professor Reaney, an authority on English surnames, explains the surname originated from people who had a bed, which was rare back in the 12 century. People proudly boasted about the fact they could afford to have a bed by adding it to their name. Strange but true!英语姓氏权威专家雷尼教授解释说这个姓氏来源于有床可睡的人们，12世纪有床的人不多。人们就会炫耀自己买得起床，进而把这事加到名字里。很奇怪吧，但是是真的。
This surname, which was first popular in France and Ireland before coming over to the UK, dates back to 1279 and identified the person's job. They were either a seller or a grower of the vegetable.这个姓起初在法国和爱尔兰多有人使用，后来才传到英国。该姓氏早在1279年就有人使用了，而且道明了这个人的工作。这些人要不是种洋葱的，就是卖洋葱的。Nutter means a crazy or silly person in colloquial English. You wouldn't usually call yourself a nutter, but it's genuinely a surname that originates from Yorkshire and Lancashire. It's a variation of the old English surnames "Notere" which means clerk and "Nothard", which means a person that keeps oxes.Nutter 在英语口语中的意思是疯子或者蠢人。你一般不会叫自己“疯子”，但这个姓的确存在，而且起源于约克郡和兰开夏郡。这个姓是古英语姓氏“Notere”和“Nothard”的变体，前者意思是办公职员，后者意为养牛的人。
Although "Smellie" sounds a lot like "smelly", it has nothing to do with body odor. Smellie is of Scottish descent and was a word to describe a cheerful person. Only 400 people in the UK still have this surname today.
虽然 Smellie（斯梅丽）听起来很像 smelly（臭臭的），但是它跟体味什么的完全无关。该姓氏来自于苏格兰，用来形容快乐开心的人。目前英国只剩400人使用这个姓氏了。
You might have guessed that "Hardmeat" must have something to do with a family of butchers. In fact, it might just have been a misspelling of the village that the name came from, which was "Hardmead" in England. Wish they had spellchecker back then!你可能会以为“Hardmeat”哈德米特（硬肉）这个姓氏跟一家子屠夫肉贩有关系。但事实上，这个姓氏很可能来源于拼错了的村庄的名字，这个村庄就是英格兰的“Hardmead”（哈德米德）。哎真希望当时他们有拼写检查工具啊。取名的时候，姓氏大概率只有两个选择，但名字的确是给了父母 freestyle 的空间。
Metro 杂志搜集的下面这些真名，每一个都能让小孩本人表示疑惑。
Friendless Baxter was born in 1871 in Leeds. Presumably his parents thought he would be a bit of an introvert. 弗兰德勒斯·巴克斯特出生于1871年的利兹。可能他的父母觉得他会是个内向的人吧。Faith Hope Charity Brown was born in 1892 in Kent. No pressure for her to become a good person then?
菲斯·霍普·查瑞迪·布朗1892年出生于肯特郡。有了这个名儿，她应该毫不费力就能成为一个好人吧。Leicester Railway Cope was born in a train carriage at Leicester Railway Station in 1863. 莱斯特·瑞尔威·寇普1863年在莱斯特火车站的一节火车车厢里出生。One Too Many Gouldstone was born in Walthamstow, London, in 1870. Maybe he was the last of 13 children? 万·图·梅丽·古尔德斯通1870年出生于伦敦的沃尔瑟姆斯托。可能他是家里出生的第13个小孩？Windsor Castle was born in Nottingham in 1876. Her father was a bricklayer and had no relation to royalty. 温莎·卡瑟尔（城堡）1876年出生于诺丁汉。她的爸爸是一位砌砖工，跟王室不沾亲带故。（注：现今英国王室主要姓氏为“温莎”。）Zebra Lynes was born in Southampton in 1875. There is no record of her born in a zoo.
齐布拉·莱恩斯（斑马线）1875年出生于南安普顿。不过没有记录显示她是在动物园里出生的。Mineral Waters was born in 1892 in Rochford, Essex. Yet another child whose name was little more than a poor joke suitable for a Christmas cracker.米讷拉尔·沃特斯（矿泉水）1892年出生于埃塞克斯的罗奇福德。哎，又是一个比圣诞拉炮里的蹩脚笑话好不了多少的名字。
歌手玛利亚·凯莉 (Mariah Carey) 给自己的女儿取名叫梦露（Monroe）倒也没啥，但金·卡戴珊 (Kim Kardashian) 和坎耶·韦斯特 (Kanye West) 把女儿叫做芝加哥 (Chicago) 就难免令人些许迷惑。当然人家也有理由——Kanye在芝加哥长大。
因此网友也开了脑洞：鉴于 Kanye 在中国南京也度过了一段童年，可能有个小孩会需要叫做 Nanjing。开脑洞的名字还有很多。歌手 Ed Sheeran 的女儿叫 Antarctica（南极洲），美国 WWE 女摔角选手 Brie Bella 的儿子叫 Dessert（甜点）。但近年来最不寻常的可能还是要属特斯拉创始人马斯克（Elon Musk）的儿子的名字 “X Æ A-12”，怎么读？什么意思？夫妇俩也没有解释。
因为加州地方管理部门不允许这样的名字作登记，为了“上户口”，他们钻了个空子——把这个名字塞到了中间名（middle name）的位置。
